Anonymous asked this question on 4/26/2000:

Two months ago, my first boyfriend was hit by a train and killed (we don't know if it was suicide or not). My question is complicated. He hit me during our relationship and verbally abused me, as well. He threatened to kill himself if I ever left and two years afterward this "accident" occured. I have problems dealing with it as I feel partially to blame-if I only got him help, etc. Should I feel so guilty? His mother told me he never really got over me and never had a real girlfriend after me. Obviously I feel like it's my fault. It's probably ridiculous to feel this way but my question is:

How do I get over this and learn to deal with it?

earthmother gave this response on 4/27/2000:

Understand that it is NOT your fault! People like him are mentally unstable and if it weren't about you it would be about something else, so don't take it personally. That personality type is always wanting to blame someone else for their troubles instead of looking at themselves.Be glad for him now, because he was a tortured soul and now he is at peace.

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