Sagirl2005 asked this question on 4/27/2000:

I was absused by my ex boyfriend. He would hit,punch,kick me and throw me down stairs. He would tell me things like I dont have anyone but him,and that without him Im no one. For a while I believed this, but I realized that I didnt need him or his abuse. I was also raped by an ex. I was 16 he was 26. I said no,but he pressed harder against me forcing me to cry and rither in pain.I broke up with him two weeks later. We stopped talking for a while,then we hung out one day. It happened again. I'm am scared of being in a relationship,I scared of being touched,kissed,held,because when I think of that it reminds me of him. Can someone please help me?If so please e-mail me Sagirl2005@aol.com

patti101 gave this response on 4/27/2000:

Hello, Let's start with the abuse. The reason that people are abuseive is because, they themselves have low self-esteem, they can't get to your level so they belittle you by telling you your worthless so that they can feel better about themselves by pulling you down, and the hitting is a form of control because they have no control over there own lifes, therefore they want to control yours. Head up girlfriend, it's not your fault, you are not the problem, he is. The first step to recovery is finding you. Take time to find out who you are and get in touch with yourself. Be strong and positive. Remeber those signs from that relashonship: Where are you going? When will you be back? Call me as soon as you walk in the door? Not just the controling questions, but your response. Don't do anything that makes you feel at a loss of control! I am living proof that you can brake the cycle and have a happy and forfilling new relashonship, don't be afraid. It's out there, 5 yrs. ago I felt the same way, but along with the creeps there are wonderful men out there.

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