Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:
Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?
the_listener gave this response on 4/25/2000:
First, let me say that you are not stupid for asking this questions and you DO NOT deserve to be hit. Now let me explain...Even if you argue with your b-friend and swear at him and scream your lungs out, he DOES NOT have the right to hit you, shove you, slap you or in any other way phsycially hurt you. The reason you feel bad is because this is common, your boyfriend has probably said something to the effect of "well, if you didn't make me so mad, I wouldn't have flipped out or hit you or whatever it was he did". This is part of an abuser's control. He makes you doubt yourself to the point where you believe that you deserve to be hit or abused because you argued with him or did something that he didn't like. You are your own person and do not deserve to be hit. Beleive in yourself...Keep telling yourself that "I do not deserve this". You have the right to argue with someone and not expect them to hit you. Please, remember, this is not your fault. Please write again if you need to.
The average rating for this answer is 4.