Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:
Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?
earthmother gave this response on 4/25/2000:
Sounds like you have as many problems as he does. Sounds like you dont have much experience with violence. NO, hitting is not ok. Putting up with it for love is not ok. Egging on someone you know will probably hit you is not ok. Do you like abuse? Here is how it works... He hits you a few times, makes you feel like its your fault, which makes it somehow more acceptable to him because you are giving him an "excuse". Therefore, it becomes easier over time. When it gets to that point, he will feel that he can go a little farther with it without you doing any thing about it.Or he will feel that it does no good to hit so he will try something more severe. You will get hurt. And not only physically. Violence of this type is a form of brainwashing that if it continues will lead to VERY low self esteem on your part which will only make the violence escalate because you will feel you deserve it. You have to pull yourself out of it before it goes any farther, because if you continue on this path then a time will come when people will look at you and say "they are both idiots and they deserve each other." If that hasnt happened already. People will judge you by the company you keep and that could haunt you for years. Life is too short and precious to waste feeling bad for someone else.
The average rating for this answer is 2.