Anonymous asked this question on 4/24/2000:

My daughter is going thru a nasty divorce in Nashville. Her husband is abusive. They have a 11 month old son. The Judge has ordered them to live together until the divorce is final and even after numerous calls to 911, when she was in fear of her life, has been made to live there. Actually, she can move out but the baby must be there in his bed in their home every night so she in turn must be there with him. The physical and emotional abuse that this man puts her through on a daily basis, has all in fear for her life but there is no alternative if she wants to be with the baby. Can you give me any answers as to why this had to be this way? And I am aware that there is a lot that I am not saying here, but the fact that it is a Judge's order keeping her and the baby in a documented abusive relationship defies logic. She is aware, as are the Metro police, that he has 2 guns hidden in the house and had threatened with them in the past. The police told my daughter to get the guns and take them to the polioce station but she doesn't know where they are hidden. I can only assume that when he does finally kill her, the judge and police can say "We kind of saw this coming"!! Can you imagine the fear we live in every time the phone rings during the night or early in the morning?

lakers gave this response on 4/24/2000:

Unfortunately, the judge that your daughter got for her preliminary orders is a Southern "Good ol' Boy." There have been similar cases that have been reported as occurring, with judges making outrageous orders that negatively impact domestic violence victims.

The first thing to do is ask for an immediate review of the order, with a letter to the judge detailing the abuse, the fact the husband has weapons and concern for the family's safety. Tell him this puts him on notice and he will be liable if anything happens to your daughter.

The next thing to do is contact the local media and bring the pressure of the press to bear on this judge. He may be defiant with your daughter, but embarassment from the media, especially on the hot topic of domestic violence, makes a difference! Also send letters to the State Bar Judicial Review Board regarding what this judge has done, to the local Bar Association and to Victim Right's Groups. Let everyone know what this guy is doing.

Don't be afraid to do the things I have said, because making waves is the only way to deal with judges like this. Stay tough- it is your daughter's safety that is most important.

You will be in my thoughts- good luck and go get that judge to change his order.

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 4/24/2000:

Thank you so much for that advice. I have been saying all along that the Judge should be held liable for what SHE has done. That's right. It is a woman aand she is feared by lawyers and clients alike in the city of Nashville!!!! One family even went on the Leeza show to publicize her terrible rulings but she is still there. The last time my daughter and her husband were in her courtroom, she made them both tour the jail and said that is where she was going to put them, together in a cell, if the fighting didn't stop!!!! The problem was that the husband had kicked down the bathroom door to yell obsenities at her while holding the baby. Domestic violence hasn't even helped her (on her 6 trips!). I know this sounds like it muct be an uneducated, trashy family but they are totally middle class and live in a good neighborhood. It is to the point that I would like to hire a hit-man!!! Just kidding, but when your child is in trouble you only want to make things better. kThe last time they had a violent episode was 4 weeks ago. He busted through her bedroom door and punched her in the face. When the police came, they took her too, in the cruiser, and the Magistrate didn't think her face was hurt enough to warrent an arrest!!!! It is a very frustrating situation and I do appreciate your time. I would like to just go to this judge myself and beg her to look at the big picture but she is unreachable. Thank-you.

lakers gave this response on 4/24/2000:

Whacko judges prevail everywhere- even females, which is disappointing. It also sounds like domestic violence isn't handled well in that town. Since I have been answering questions at this website, it makes me very angry to get letters similar to yours from all over this country. From my years as a prosecutor and my time working domestic violence, I gained recognition and consulted with other states to set up programs. Despite awareness, each place is different and has a different set of problems.

This judge is NOT unreachable. You need to make a formal complaint to the Tennessee Judicial Review Committee that disciplines judges. If you can contact the other families who complained about her before, get them to do it too. Notify the local media, as I previously suggested, perhaps working through domestic violence advocate groups who may have connections. Also local government officials, such as the mayor and city council regarding a judge on their bench putting citizens in jeopardy through outrageous rulings that diminish domestic violence situations. Also mention the magistrate that wouldn't do anything about your daughter being punched in the face. Get the word out to enough people and someone might help.

I hope your daughter has an attorney that has guts. If she doesn't find one to fight hard enough- look for another. Not everyone is gutless. Judges have a duty to follow the law and use common sense, but they don't always. Look at the judge who gave OJ Simpson his kids. Your daughter's attorney should have the right to writ this judge's decision to an appellate court for review. Make sure she explores all options rather than being held hostage by an idiot.

Keep me posted on how it goes. Keep making those phone calls until you get a solution.

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