Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:
Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?
Artemidoros gave this response on 4/22/2000:
Dear Anonymous, That's exactly what you have to do, means leave him. Unless you decide to take some self-defense courses and next time he tries to assault you you hit back and knock him out. I say that without knowing what weight you or he do. You could also ask for some help from a male friend(s) or relative. Believe me it works very well! I can't propose myself because I am too old for that. There are then two options: Either he will understand how stupid he is and apologize you or he will just leave and never come back. If you feel then too lonely try to find another guy but caution: Not the same kind of guy! I do not think that you are a masochistic personality but that you are just too young and confused about your feelings. Feel free to ask me.
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