Anonymous asked this question on 4/20/2000:

My ex-husband refuses to let me get on with my life. He was emotionally abusive while we were married but became physically abusive after I left. He has seen Dr's and been an out patient a couple of times since we seperated but he still can not accept the fact that I left. He has threatened suicide a couple of times and has stalked, beaten, raped and taped me over the last year. I want his family to get involved and try to help him because I believe that he feels like no one loves him and by his family not getting involved it is just making him more desperate to try to keep me. He wants to be loved more than anything else I think that is why he won't let go. He thinks everyone he ever loved has left him so he thinks he can stop me. Do you know of any programs or ca you suggest what needs done?

Artemidoros gave this response on 4/22/2000:

Dear Anonymous, It seems to me a complicated situation. Normally, leaving him should have improved the situation but it worsened it instead. You look upon this man as immature and irresponsible person and there is a chance that he is one. It seems also as if you would like to continue to mother this guy which in the present situation doesn't have any sense at all. It could also be that this person is profoundly disturbed mentally. Seeling a professional's help in his case was perhaps most adapted to the situation. The question is was it a sincere move from his part or just a mean to regain your sympathy? I think I should also mention the possibility you have to ask protection from the law and get a restrain order. This will not make him more unhappy tha he probably is now but will set him the limits. If you feel confused or embarassed by your own feelings don't hesitate to ask apsychologist's or cousellor's advice. yourself.

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