Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

special_kgirl gave this response on 4/22/2000:

I find it quite interesting that you start off by taking responsiblity for your boyfriends actions. You state that you don't mean to piss him off, but sometimes you can't help it. No matter what you say it does not give him the right to hit you. You say that you are sure he would never "hurt you, hurt you", how can you be sure? Did you ever think when you first met him that he would "smack you on the mouth?" You said not to tell you to leave him, as you loved him and would miss him, that is more than likely true; however you are selling yourself short and setting your self up for a life time of abuse. I lived with an abusive husband for 9 years, and believe me, it WILL get worse. I always thought that each time would be the last,but it just got worst. It became a matter of my surviving, or my dying, it was that bad. A very close friend looked at me one day and said, " how can you let him treat you that way, you are so smart, and I can't understand how you can live like this?" I went home looked in the mirror and realized that I was TOO smart to put up with that, it takes baby steps sometimes and somethimes it takes giant leaps. But the bottom line is, "What do you want your children's father to do to you in front of them someday?"...........................

The average rating for this answer is 4.