huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

sharpurcell gave this response on 4/22/2000:

I understand everything you are feeling and I know you want to trust this man more than anything but more than likely the same thing will happen again. Would he be willing to see a counselor with you, or by himself for that matter? When everything between the two of you is going alright does he still admit that he has an anger problem? This is HIS problem, not yours at all and you must remember that. NOTHING you say or do will change his behavior, only he can do that and it is all HIS responsibility, NOT YOURS. Don't let him make you feel that he hits you because YOU make him do it. You don't and he would hit anyone else he was seeing just the same way he hits you. People can heal, but trust is a very precious thing and once broken it is very hard to repair. It will take a lot of work on his part to make your relationship right. If he is willing to seek help, be supportive but do not let him blame you. Don't accept excuses for his behavior, he doesn't hit you because of you, he hits you because he cannot control himself. Please let me know what happens.

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