Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

jellygator gave this response on 4/21/2000:

It is never okay to strike someone. No matter what you do, it doesn't give him a right to hit you. Just as you make a choice when you decide to smart off, so does he.

Right now you're fairly happy with the relationship, but please consider a few things: What is the reason for smarting off or hitting someone? Isn't it designed to make another person feel bad? Is that how to show someone you love them?

I encourage you to seek counseling to explore whether this relationship is good for you or bad for you, and what you can do to prevent the abuse from worsening. Many relationships that become horribly abusive started off with few or no signs, and many people have stayed because they thought "he wouldn't REALLY hurt me. He's just...."

The average rating for this answer is 3.