Kickingwoman asked this question on 4/21/2000:
My neighbor was in an abusive relationship and was scared to death of him. He left a gun where her 4-year-old got it and blew off his own tiny head. As she was told by fire rescue that there was no hope, police asked her her guy's name. In a state of shock, she dutifully rattled off the name he'd told her to say and she had had to say for 2 years, a false name. She gave the right address and police apprehended him running off with the gun, and took him in for questioning.On the ride, he killed the police, and later himself.She is serving 21 years for lying about his identity. How likely is it that an abused woman at the moment of a serious trauma can suddenly break from her syndrome of dependancy and speak for herself? First her dad raped her all her childhood and then this creep hurt her sexually but she couldn't leave him...Do you think it would have been unusual or usual for one in her spot to suddenly find her autonomy and disobey the master and give his real name? Another reason she lied is, she was under court order not to let him around her kids because he had a record. She feared the state would take her other little child right then and there and she was trying to protect the family unit she had left. Of course!
courtneysmom gave this response on 4/21/2000:
Dear kickingwoman:
This story sounds vaguely familiar. Was this on TV? I think it must have been or another one like it. No, I do not feel that she could have suddenly broken the shackles of abuse away. I know enough about trauma too to know that she was likely responding out of shock and terror. This is a good example of why battered women should not stay with their abusing partner. The power and control he has over her is sometimes just disregarded as a weakness on her part, but it is not! The bottom line, though, is that she should have taken one opportunity to get away and now she'll never have that opportunity. It is a very sad and unfortunate situation and breaks my heart. It would seem that justice could have been better served in this case, but it also seems a bit overwhelming to think all this actually happened. I'm sorry for your pain in being a neighbor of such traumatic events. It is good you see what really happened here. Carry that with you and educate others. Take good care and always be safe....
courtneysmom