Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:
Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?
Phoenixguy2000 gave this response on 4/20/2000:
I think you know what your problem is and what you should do about it, but you are wanting people to tell you what you want to hear! This sounds like a very tumultuous "relationship", one that feeds off of a cycle of violence....physical abuse, guilt,fear, loneliness, and making up, to start it all over again. You don't say how old you are, but you both obviously are not mature enough for this relationship. You admit that you make your boyfriend angry by having your own way, and then cursing and yelling at him, he gets angry and physically abusive. No man should ever use physical violence towards a woman, no matter how much feels he is provoked. He is wrong. But you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't be involved in a relationship one day and then the next want the strings to be cut so you can go out and do your own thing. The other side of this is that, if his temper is so violent as to leave "marks" on you, there is no telling where this will end. You need to get out of this relationship NOW! You also need to find out what it is you are seeking in a relationship, and be sure you are ready for one when you get involved. And this relationship is doomed from the get-go. I am sure you don't want to spend your life with a guy whose moods are so like the wind, that you don't know from day to day what he will be like. You say you are smart, so act smart and get out of there--NOW!
The average rating for this answer is 3.