Anonymous asked this question on 4/20/2000:

My ex-husband refuses to let me get on with my life. He was emotionally abusive while we were married but became physically abusive after I left. He has seen Dr's and been an out patient a couple of times since we seperated but he still can not accept the fact that I left. He has threatened suicide a couple of times and has stalked, beaten, raped and taped me over the last year. I want his family to get involved and try to help him because I believe that he feels like no one loves him and by his family not getting involved it is just making him more desperate to try to keep me. He wants to be loved more than anything else I think that is why he won't let go. He thinks everyone he ever loved has left him so he thinks he can stop me. Do you know of any programs or ca you suggest what needs done?

snowbird gave this response on 4/20/2000:

I think the first thing you should do is get a restraining order against him to prevent him from getting near you. The only thing that you can do is protect yourself. You can't make someone else care if they don't care on their own.

An abuser needs help and it looks like he is trying to get it. You notice I said looks like it. Most abusers look like they are trying to get help, but they go to the counselor and paint themselves as being the abused. I have been there when they have done that.

In fact, that is why my grandchildren are living in an abusive environment today. We had guardianship of them for almost a year, because my daughter, in one of her altered states, tried to drown our granddaughter. But, she convinced everybody that we were the bad ones and they are back home with their "normal" mother.

If you have any further questions and/or comments, please feel free to contact me at any time.

Blessings in all that you do.

Paul

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