Anonymous asked this question on 4/20/2000:

My ex-husband refuses to let me get on with my life. He was emotionally abusive while we were married but became physically abusive after I left. He has seen Dr's and been an out patient a couple of times since we seperated but he still can not accept the fact that I left. He has threatened suicide a couple of times and has stalked, beaten, raped and taped me over the last year. I want his family to get involved and try to help him because I believe that he feels like no one loves him and by his family not getting involved it is just making him more desperate to try to keep me. He wants to be loved more than anything else I think that is why he won't let go. He thinks everyone he ever loved has left him so he thinks he can stop me. Do you know of any programs or ca you suggest what needs done?

neesie gave this response on 4/20/2000:

First of all, I'm sorry to say, you need to let him help himself. You can not do it. My momma use to tell me you can not save the world. It's true. By continuing to try and help him, you are putting yourself in danger. Let it be known that you do love him, but until he helps himself, you can't be with him or do anything for him. It's called tough love, and most of the times it works. Also, you need to get yourself into counseling to help you deal with everything that has happened to you in the relationship, and everything that is to come. Help yourself before you even start to try to help anyone else.

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