Anonymous asked this question on 4/15/2000:

As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?, As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?

Liveagain gave this response on 4/20/2000:

Until you get these things resolved in your own mind, your life will never be complete. What they did is against the law. Of course it is bothering you now because it was not resolved and put away in a healty fashionn when it actually happened to you. I suspect in some way you blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. What happened to you is what one would call child abuse. Call your nearest family crisis center. They will have a list of counselors who will help you pro bono or charge you only what you can afford to pay. Actually, you could still take all of these people to court for charges of child sexual molestation. That carries prison time. In my opinion any one who does this or who has knowledge of this and doesn't protect the child's rights deserves prison time regardless of who it might be. You need to take positive steps to get this dark cloud from hanging over you. How do you know that they're still not doing it. You could save another child's life.

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