Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

Liveagain gave this response on 4/20/2000:

He is not ever going to change his behavior as long as you put up with his abuse. Actually, the longer you stay with him, the worse it's going to get. After a man hits you once and you tolerate this, it becomes easier for him to do it again. In my humble opinion, you're not only suffering from a low self esteem but from codependency as well. This could develope into a very dangerous situation. There are more women who die from domestic violence that's done by their husband or boyfriend than anything else in the USA. I would seek counseling before this thing goes any farther.

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