Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

yourfriend gave this response on 4/20/2000:

IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT FOR ANYONE HITTING OR LAYING THEIR HANDS ON YOU. DO ME A FAVOR AND READ YOUR WORDS YOU WROTE. IF YOU CUSS OR SWEAR HE WILL SLAP YOU IN THE MOUTH, WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU ARE AN ADULT AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SPEAK AS YOU WANT. HE IS NOT YOUR FATHER AND OR YOUR OWNER, HE CANNOT DICTATE YOUR EVERY MOMENT. HONEY, YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOURSELF TO MAKE HIM STOP HIS VIOLENCE. THIS IS SO NOT YOUR FAULT, AND ITS UNFAIR THAT YOU ARE TAKING THE BLAME FOR IT. A PERSON WHO IS VIOLENT WILL BE SURE TO MAKE THE BLAME ON THE VICTIM, THIS IN THE ABUSERS MIND VALIDATES THEIR ACTIONS. AND NO ONE CAN TELL YOU TO LEAVE , WE COULD SAY IT ALL DAY UNTIL WE ARE BLUE IN THE FACE BUT YOU WON'T UNTIL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I AM SURE YOU ARE VERY SMART, AND YOU SHOULD NOT CALL YOUR SELF STUPID FOR THIS, THIS IS NORMAL IN ALL VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS. THE ABUSERS PICK OUT VICTIMS THAT ARE EASY PREY WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM,THIS ENABLES THEM TO LOWER IT EVEN WORSE. AND FROM THE SOUNDS OF IT, IT IS NOT YOUR BRAIN, YOU JUST ARE YOUR WORST ENEMY WHEN IT COMES TO SELF ESTEEM, AND AS I SAID ONLY YOU WILL LEAVE WHEN READY TO. I DO WANT TO SAY THAT WHAT HE IS DOING IS WRONG. AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY HE HAS NO BUSINESS LAYING HIS HANDS ON YOU.

IF YOU JUST WANT A FRIEND TO TALK TO . WRITE ME, I WILL BE MORE THEN HAPPY TO LISTEN AND I WON'T EVER TELL YOU YOUR STUPID FOR STAYING.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.