Anonymous asked this question on 4/15/2000:
As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?, As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?
yourfriend gave this response on 4/20/2000:
WOW, AS A CHILD YOU SURE HAD A TERRIBLE ONE, AND YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS ALOT TO BLAME FOR NOW AND YOUR FUTURE.
THERE ARE ALOT OF FREE COUNSELING AGENCIES NOW THAT CAN HELP YOU. EVEN A CHURCH WILL COUNSEL YOU, IF YOU WANT TO .
AS FAR AS SEEING YOUR FAMILY, YOU ARE STILL DOING WHAT THEY TRAINED YOU TO DO AND THAT IS TO FORGET AND PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED. THIS IS THEIR FAULT AND IN NO WAY YOURS. NOW IS THE TIME YOU MAY WANT TO CONFRONT THEM, AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU KNOW, AND REMEMBER. LET THEM KNOW HOW BADLY THEY HURT YOU. AND IF YOU DO THIS BE PREPARED FOR THEIR DENIALS IN ALL OF THIS. DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU. AND THEY WILL TRY. YOU NEED TO ACCEPT YOURSELF AS WELL, AND KNOW THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WAS WRONG, AND YOU WERE NEVER TO BLAME. YOU AREN'T TO BLAME FOR EVEN NOT TELLING, YOU DID WHAT YOU THOUGHT SAFE, AND THAT WAS TO BELIEVE IN YOU AT THE TIME.
TRY TO CALL SOME OF THE SERVICES THAT ARE FREE, LOOK UNDER YOUR BLUE AND OR WHITE PAGES IN YOUR LOCAL PHONE BOOK FOR COMMUNITY HELP.
I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST. IF YOU JUST NEED A FRIEND TO HEAR YOU, I AM ALWAYS HERE, AND WOULD LOVE TO CORRESPOND WITH YOU.
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