Anonymous asked this question on 4/19/2000:

Is it ever o.k. to have someone hit you? I know it is a stupid question but it's like I know certain things are going to piss my boyfriend off but sometimes I feel like I should be able to do whatever I want. I know that if I talk back or cuss at him that he might slap me in my mouth but sometimes I still do it.Does that make since? And the other stupid part is have the time I find myself saying sorry for him hitting me. I'm not stupid, actully I'm a straigt A college student. I even tell myself that I'm not going to do anything to piss him off but sometimes I still do. Don't tell me to get away from him, because I love him and I feel lonely without him but I just want him to treat me better. I want him to stop yelling at me, I don't like being scared of my boyfriend and I hate that almost everyone knows that he has hit me before. But I do not want to loss him. I don't think he would ever hurt me hurt me. Maybe scare me leave a couple of marks but not kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I really do believe it's true. They say you can't change those who don't want to be changed so what can I do to make it right?

MARTIE gave this response on 4/19/2000:

Hi I am Martie,I too was in your shoes very long ago.I know what you are going through first hand,I won't tell you to leave him cause I know how it is.You know I'm just going to say it straight out,us women have came along way over the yrs fighting for our rights as women.Trying to devide ourselves from our family,boyfriends or kids.The first thing you need to do is start fighting back.I don't mean physically I mean mentally,you need to come in contact with yourself or no one can help you.You have to stop allowing him to treat you this way people only treat you how you let them.You can do what you want you are you arent you,dont you make some kind of decisions for yourself.I know you do,you figure out what you are going to wear so that is a decision.If we lose all site of who we really are buy letting someone shut us out of that part of us.Then how can you relly care for him when you cant care foryourself in the right way.You have to do this on your own,there are people to coach you thru it but it has to be done by you.Once you have set your mind to do this it will get easier each day.If there is a will in your heart there is a way to do it.Dont let anyone treat you like this.Martie

The average rating for this answer is 3.9.

Anonymous rated this answer a 4.