huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

brenzx2 gave this response on 4/18/2000:

I can tell you from my past with abuse. I know you want to hear that he won't ever do it again, but I can't say that to you. I was 19 when i married my husband, we dated for a year. I loved him so much, he was so good to me. The whole time we dated he never got angry with me, he never even raised his voice around me. The day after we were married he beat me! After he was done he sat on the floor and cried, he said he was sorry, he loved me, he would never do it again. He did do it again, each time was worse than the last. After a few times the sorry's stopped, now it was my fault, I made him do it. I took the abuse for 3 years, and we had 3 babies in the 3 years we were married. That was 20 years ago, since then he has married again I wish I could say he has changed, he only got worse. Two years ago he took my daughter who was 16 then out to dinner. He didn't like what she was wearing so he took her on a back road and beat her. I came home from work to find her on the bed crying. When she looked up at me she had two black eyes, and her head was full of lumps. He was arrested and we learned in court that he has beaten his wife the way he use to beat me. I do some work with the red cross, most of the time it is to find shelters for women and their babies that are running from boyfrinds, and husbands who have beat them. I don't know much about your boyfriend only what you told here, it is unlikely that he will stop. There are a number of clinics that offer help for both of you. Ask him if he would go for counceling, if he say's no, i would tell him that if he loved you and wanted you back he would have to go. I see you check here for answers so you are affraid, If he refuses to go even once for help, then you need to think about how many times he will beat you before you get out. I wish I could help more it's up to you now. I haven't read any other answers here, but take all that is offered, and use it to your best. I will pray for you, if I can help in any way let me know.

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