Anonymous asked this question on 4/15/2000:

As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?, As a child from ages 4 to 6 I can remember my grandfather crawling on me and from there I've blocked it out. I guss I'm afraid of remembering what he actually did to me. I was almost raped by a family friend at 9 years old. When I was around 7 or 8 years old my aunt made me have sex with her. When I was 11 years old my uncle fondled me, made me take baths with him, made me drink liquor, made me look at playboy magazines, and he wanted to take pictures of me nude. He would take me riding with him and his friends. I wouldn't remember any thing till the next morning at home in my bed. I didn't tell any one is because back in those days noone would have believed me. I totally respected these people and looked up to them like they were my second parents. I'm now 35 years old and I'm not sure who I am anymore. My husband and I can't get along to well anymore because I want come to his every beckon call. My attitude toward men now is just that an attitude. My husband knows about all this but doesn't think it should affect my life now. I've tried counseling. They didn't seem to help me. I can't afford a counselor because of their outragous fees. What makes me so mad is now when I see one of them eveyting is okand should be forgotten. How should I try to get my life back together? I think if I get some of this sorted out my life with my family will get back to normal. Can you help? What would you suggest I do?

debbie34 gave this response on 4/17/2000:

When i read this, it brought back so many memories of my own. I know just how you feel, it took me many years before i even rememberd what happend to me, i have been there to i have tried everything under the sun, and nothing seemd to help me either, people can give you advice and talk till your ear is about to fall off, but nothing will ever be able to change the fact that you as a child was abused, and you cant seem to get it out of your head. My hushand just like yours couldnt get past the point of "that was then this is now" and get over it thing, i think that is the hardest thing to deal with because he is your mate and should be the one person you can go to and get understanding. BUt they seem to make it harder instead of being there. To be honest with you my fist step of what helped me first was the death of the person that abused me, i unlike you had only 1 person so that maybe a lot harder for you to feel a little relief, the next was trying to fogive him for what he did to me.....to be honest this was something i still havent done......my next was going to ask god for help, thats where i got most of my soul soothing........but i still have issues that is so hard to give up and out of my life..i have come to realize that there is no quick fixes.....and it is so hard not to expect them..... i hope what i have said has made you feel a little better. my prayers are with you, please feel free to write to me there is so much to say and at same time so hard to do so at first. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

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