huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

rainbowlady gave this response on 4/14/2000:

Statistically, abusers to not stop abusing unless they get very intense intervention in the form of therapy and counselling. The older they are when this intervention starts, the less likely it is that it will be effective. In other words, if your BF is 16, and he goes into intensive therapy to help him quit being abusive, then it may take. If he's 25, chances are it won't work.

If you want to give him another chance, so be it. That choice is yours and yours alone. But statistically, you will contine to be abused and not only that, the abuse will get worse. If you are again abused, contact your local woman's shelter or domestic violence hotline and ask them what your options are. If they're a good shelter, they'll explain all your options, the pros and cons of each choice and then let you make the decision and do what they can to support that decision.

Good luck!

Love and Light, Rainbowlady

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