huey_vivian asked this question on 4/13/2000:

okay he's my question i left my boyfiend for two weeks stright and then one day me and my friend was in the his car the friends car and he was crying and saying that he would never hit me angain then he left me but he did not want anybody elese he wanted just me in his life but i went back to him the third time around what should i do should i learn to trust him and think things will be okay this time or what?????????????

tcsmpsi gave this response on 4/14/2000:

That's not much to go on, but as I am sure you will hear from most responses, the cycle of abuse is generally not broken with a promise to stop. In fact, that is an integral part of the cycle. If he has hit you before however, my personal suggestion would be to let him go. There is one thing that no matter what counseling he receives, or you receive, the memory of that violence will remain. It is next to absolute impossible to ever establish Trust after that has happened. We form a semblence of 'trust', and we hope and wish and try to establish that trust, but quite honestly, that betrayal is deeply imbedded. It may hurt to let him go, but that is something which will pass. Please, don't become part of the cycle of abuse, no 'relationship' is worth it. Michael

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