Anonymous asked this question on 4/6/2000:

When does critisim become emotional, verbal, and/or mental abuse? I'm a grown woman with a mother who I can't stand. I'ma trim 5'6" 115. I gained 15 last year and was berated constantly about how I was getting fat. I'm still a size 4 she's been a 16 or more my whole life. I'm lazy and unmotivated although I work 60 hours a week at a profesional job. I'm a failure and disappointment even though I'm a high earner and have a graduate degree. She's never had a job in her life, had to go to summer school to finish high school and has literally slept her life away. I've never been good enough, it's suprising I have any self esteem at all. My other sister has moved across country to get away from her and rarely calls. I live in the same town and run into her often, but not on purpose. She bad mouths me to my relatives who have the impression I'm a bum. Is this abuse?

Sarah32 gave this response on 4/13/2000:

No matter how big or small, abuse is abuse (verbal, physical and sexual) Maybe she is insecure because she has not accomplished the things that you have. And the only way she knows how to deal with it is by calling names and trying to degrade you so that you will go down to her level. You need to either, tell her how you feel and let her know that you will not take the abuse anymore. She eaither loves you for the way you are or she needs to leave you alone. Just take a stand on how you feel and don't let her intimidate you in the way that it will affect your health or what you have built. Stand tall and strong.

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