Anonymous asked this question on 4/6/2000:

When does critisim become emotional, verbal, and/or mental abuse? I'm a grown woman with a mother who I can't stand. I'ma trim 5'6" 115. I gained 15 last year and was berated constantly about how I was getting fat. I'm still a size 4 she's been a 16 or more my whole life. I'm lazy and unmotivated although I work 60 hours a week at a profesional job. I'm a failure and disappointment even though I'm a high earner and have a graduate degree. She's never had a job in her life, had to go to summer school to finish high school and has literally slept her life away. I've never been good enough, it's suprising I have any self esteem at all. My other sister has moved across country to get away from her and rarely calls. I live in the same town and run into her often, but not on purpose. She bad mouths me to my relatives who have the impression I'm a bum. Is this abuse?

poohbear021695 gave this response on 4/13/2000:

Hell, yes, it's abuse! Honey, your relative is sick. She's so eaten up with jealousy and envy she can't see straight. What you've got to realize is that your life and the way you live speaks volumes. That's what she can't stand. You are living the life she wants, and because she is who she is, she knows it's not gonna be any different for her. She is critical of you because she's bitter and angry. You cannot change her, you can't fix her problems for her. She's made her own choices. All you can do is be who you are, and refuse to give her spitefulness any power over you. She can't hurt you anymore unless you let her! Good luck to you, and I'd love to hear how you're doing. I hope what I've said helps.

The average rating for this answer is 4.