Anonymous asked this question on 4/6/2000:
When does critisim become emotional, verbal, and/or mental abuse? I'm a grown woman with a mother who I can't stand. I'ma trim 5'6" 115. I gained 15 last year and was berated constantly about how I was getting fat. I'm still a size 4 she's been a 16 or more my whole life. I'm lazy and unmotivated although I work 60 hours a week at a profesional job. I'm a failure and disappointment even though I'm a high earner and have a graduate degree. She's never had a job in her life, had to go to summer school to finish high school and has literally slept her life away. I've never been good enough, it's suprising I have any self esteem at all. My other sister has moved across country to get away from her and rarely calls. I live in the same town and run into her often, but not on purpose. She bad mouths me to my relatives who have the impression I'm a bum. Is this abuse?
sunny18603 gave this response on 4/11/2000:
my motherhood will compare to the motherhood i lived in granted my mother was 15 when she had me my father was a drunk,cheat and he beat her so bad she had to have a brain operation from the kick to the eye, but why would you leave you're infant twins and 4 yr. old girls alone so you could go out and party, sick huh, the commandment honor your parents i'll tell you i don't honor mine no more i've learnd you have to love,and act the parent role to be honeredin the parent commandment, your mother is rude , childish,unhappy,JEALOUS,and has no respect for herself as well as you if doesn't respect herself how can she ever treat you any different, you have turned out to be a better person then your mom and that's why she may be so out of line,laugh at her, let her know it don't bother you, you work for a livingyou take care of your self,and if all she has to do is put you down right her off no chiold of a parent deserves to be treated as though they do not LOVE you. Good luck
sunny18603 gave this follow-up answer on 4/11/2000:
I'm very sorry my answers are backwords, please read 2nd answer first then go to the first answer, but one more thought she also probally angry with herself,and this is why the abuse, please for your own self esteem don't let her bother you, your not going to change things, So let her be on judgement day we are judged for our actions, she's not worth the breathe you would use to get to the problem nor does it sound like she's going to change her ways most parents when there mean to thier children it's because they blame you for their unhappiness. sorry those kind of parents need to excepy the fact it was their own wrong doings and Quit blaming you's as though you wanted to be brought into this god forsaken unhappy family young lady hold your head up high, love your self for the kind of person you are and rem. your the only one who in the long run will make you happiest most so if you want to hate her as you put it unless she deserves diffently then i'm with you because is not worth the love in my heart and i'm sure you fill the same about yours.
The average rating for this answer is 5.