Anonymous asked this question on 4/6/2000:
When does critisim become emotional, verbal, and/or mental abuse? I'm a grown woman with a mother who I can't stand. I'ma trim 5'6" 115. I gained 15 last year and was berated constantly about how I was getting fat. I'm still a size 4 she's been a 16 or more my whole life. I'm lazy and unmotivated although I work 60 hours a week at a profesional job. I'm a failure and disappointment even though I'm a high earner and have a graduate degree. She's never had a job in her life, had to go to summer school to finish high school and has literally slept her life away. I've never been good enough, it's suprising I have any self esteem at all. My other sister has moved across country to get away from her and rarely calls. I live in the same town and run into her often, but not on purpose. She bad mouths me to my relatives who have the impression I'm a bum. Is this abuse?
blue_eyes_33 gave this response on 4/7/2000:
I want to start off by saying that it sounds like your mother is jealous of your success. i am a senior in college and my ENTIRE family say "noreen, you thibk you are a know - it - all" that really hurts because I am the first one to go to college. This is emotional abuse that your mother is inflicting on you. Did she have you at a young age? A lot of women who have had children at a young age come to resent their children and blame them for their failure eventhough they still could have went to school and had a career. I would suggest that you try to talk to your mother and ask her why she says these things about you when you both know its not true. Ask her why she resents you so much and that may bring her to her senses. Also does she have a past or current history of alcohol, drugs, or mental heath problems? Lastly has she ever been in a domestic violence relationship or emotionally abused as a child? These things could have an impact on why she is emotionally abusing you. Let me know if I can help you any further.
BLUE_EYES_33 (noreen)
The average rating for this answer is 5.