Anonymous asked this question on 4/6/2000:

When does critisim become emotional, verbal, and/or mental abuse? I'm a grown woman with a mother who I can't stand. I'ma trim 5'6" 115. I gained 15 last year and was berated constantly about how I was getting fat. I'm still a size 4 she's been a 16 or more my whole life. I'm lazy and unmotivated although I work 60 hours a week at a profesional job. I'm a failure and disappointment even though I'm a high earner and have a graduate degree. She's never had a job in her life, had to go to summer school to finish high school and has literally slept her life away. I've never been good enough, it's suprising I have any self esteem at all. My other sister has moved across country to get away from her and rarely calls. I live in the same town and run into her often, but not on purpose. She bad mouths me to my relatives who have the impression I'm a bum. Is this abuse?

Fr_Chuck gave this response on 4/7/2000:

It is very hard when one we love, does not just show us the love in return, but abuse is when it begins to effect us , our behavior, makes us act different, and is not done in love, you need to talk, not fight and tell her that you can not take being talked down to, if she loves you and wants to be with you and talk to you, she can but not if she is being abusive,

Then if she is, don't be there to hear it

The average rating for this answer is 3.