bubble0@... asked this question on 4/3/2000:

I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?, I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?

mjohnson423 gave this response on 4/5/2000:

HAVE YOU HEARD THE OLD NURSERY RHYME RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME I'M THE GINGER BREAD MAN? WELL, RUN RUN WHILE YOU CAN . HE HAS DONE IT TWICE AND HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.YOU NEED TO THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN AS WELL AS YOUR SELF . EVERY TIME HE DOES THIS IT WILL ONLY GET WORST. DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN GROWING UP THINKING THIS IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR? I KNOW YOU DON'T . YOUR BOYFRIEND NEEDS HELP AND NOW SO DO THE KIDS. YOU THINK THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT THEY DO MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. THE BABY WONT NEED HELP IF YOU LEAVE NOW BUT THE OTHERS DO .SAVE ONE OF YOUR BABYS WHILE YOU CAN . YOU DONT WANT THEM TO SEE YOU GET KILLED OR WORST FIND OUT YOU ARE DEAD AND HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS MAN AN FEAR HE WILL DO THE SAME TO THEM. YOU CAN'T HELP THEM IF YOU ARE NOT ALIVE. IF YOU LOVE HIM WHICH I'M SURE YOU DO , MAKE HIM GET HELP. BUT FIRST LEAVE. DON'T TELL HIM OF YOUR PLANS . TELL HIM AFTER YOU ARE GONE THAT YOU HAVE LEFT HIM AND HAVE TAKEN THE KIDS. THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF PLACES THAT WILL HELP YOU NOW. GO TO JOHNRECOVERS SITE. HE KNOWS OF PLACES WHERE YOU CAN GET ASSITANCE. I HAVE FOLLOWED HIS ANSWERS SINCE I STARTED HELPING OTHERS. HE SEEMS TO REALLY CARE AND HAS THE KNOWLEDGE TO HELP PEOPLE LIKE YOUR SELF. I USE TO BE IN A BAD RELationship like you are In now. I was 20-21 and he was much older. In his late 30's. He said he loved me but he would smoke pot, anD DRINK A LOT. IT STARTED WITH A SHOVE , THEN A SLAP , THEN HARDER SLAP. I COULDN'T TALK TO FAMILY OR FRIENDS AND I DID NOT HAVE A CAR. WE MOVED WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY WERE I COULDN'T EVEN WALK FOR HELP OR SCREAM . ONE NIGHT HE DID SOME COCAINE ( I DID NOT KNOW HE DID THIS DRUG) AND HE PICKED ME UP FROM WORK AT THE MALL. HE LOCKED THE WINDOWS AND DOORS AND HIT ME ALL THE WAY TO A BEACH THAT WAS 10 MILES AWAY. I HAD 2 BLACK EYES, A COUPLE OF BROKEN RIBS ANDA BUSTED HEAD. I HAD TO HAVE STICHES. I TRIED TO JUMP OUT OF THE CAR AND I COULD NOT OPEN THE DOOR. HE HAd POWER LOCKS THAT WERE CHILD PROOF. GUESS WHO WAS THE CHILD THAT NIGHT ? ME! I WAS TRAPPED.HE PULLED OFF A DESERTED ROAD AND DRUG ME OUT OF THE CAR AND STARTED REALLY HITTING ME. I TRIED TO RUN BUT HE WAS FASTER.HE THAN PULLED OUT A GUN AND I STARTED TO PRAY......... I GOT THE GUN FROM HIM AND THREW IT AS FAR AS I COULD. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T KEEP IT. IT WAS PROABLY BEST I DIDN'T HE WAS HIGH AS A KITE AND MOST LIKELY WOULD HAVE OVER POWERED ME. I THEN BEGGED AND CRIED....... THEN I SAID I LOVED HIM AND WOULD MARRY HIM..... ANYTHING TO GET HIM TO DRIVE ME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD....... I FIXED MYSELF UP AS BEST AS I COULD,DROVE HIM TO A LOCAL BAR , GOT HIM MORE SHIT FACED TO WHERE HE COULD NOT STAND UP AND WENT HOME WITH HIM. I REMEMBER LAYING IN BED WITH HIM NAKED AND WATCHING HIM PASS OUT COLD. NO! WE DID NOT HAVE SEX! THANK GOD! I THEN GATHERD ALL MY THINGS ,STOLD HIS CAR, DROVE TO A FRIENDS , GOT MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER THEN MY FRIEND AND I DROVE HIS CAR TO THE POLICE STATION. AFTER I PRESSED CHARGES MY FRIEND FOLLOWED ME TO HIS HOUSE . I LEFT HIS CAR IN THE DRIVE WAY , THREW HIS KEYS IN THE BUCHES AND DROVE OFF WITH MY FRIEND. WE WATCHED AS POLICE CARS SURROUNDED HIS HOUSE AND TOOK HIM TO JAIL. THEY KICKED THE DOOR DOWN AND EVERYTHING . HE TRIED TO GET AWAY BUT DID NOT HAVE A KEY TO THE CAR.LOL!! I WAS VERY LUCKY TO HAVE LIVED THROUGH THAT. YOU MIGHT NOT BE SO LUCKY. I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT HE HAD IT IN HIM TO HURT ME. THANK GOD I HAD NO CHILDREN WITH HIM.I HOPE MY STORY OPENS YOU EYES. THESE THINGS JUST DONT HAPPEN ON T.V. SHORTLY AFTER I MET MY HUSBAND. NOW I LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I TURNED RANDY IN ON THE 16TH OF DEC.OF 89 AND MET TONY ON THE 26TH OF DEC. OF 89. GODS LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO ME. WRITE ME IF YOU NEED ME. I WANT TO HELP. LOVE ALWAYS MJOHNSON423 PS: I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY HUSBAND BECAUSE RANDY ALWAYS SAID NO ONE WOULD EVER WANT ME. I WS LUCKY TO BE WITH HIM. HE MADE ME BELIEVE IT FOR A WHILE. I WAS 125 POUNDS AND HE SAID I WAS FAT. HE KNEW HOW TO DO THE MIND GAMES. WHO CARES IF I USE TO BE A MODEL HE WOULD SAY TO ME. WELL, TONY MADE ME REALIZE I WAS BEAUTIFUL IN SIDE AND OUT . I WASN'T THE ONE MESSED UP RANDY WAS. I HOPE YOUR BOYFRIEND HASN'T SAID THESE THINGS TO YOU . ALTHOUGH I'M SURE HE HAS. THER IS A TONY OUT THER FOR YOU I PROMISE. SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE AND RESPECT YOU AND YOUR KIDS.

The average rating for this answer is 3.