bubble0@... asked this question on 4/3/2000:

I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?, I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?

Brandie gave this response on 4/4/2000:

Dear Bubble, I believe you and possibly your children are very much in trouble. People usually don't threaten people they love for fun so to speek. They need to be taken seriuosly, because people who threaten others eventually do just what they promised. When you asked your boyfriend would he hit you and he immediately said yes, I promise you if you stay with him he will. He is already emotionally abusing you. He took your car keys so you couldn't leave, he tore up the house when he couldn't find is hat and the house wasn't up to his standards. These are classic signs of control and I'll bet he told you it was your fault he tore the house up. I would advise you and your children to please get out before it is to late. You and your children deserve to live in a safe and healthy enviroment. If you stay in this enviroment you are saying to your children, this is the way women have to live. I know you wouldn't want your daughters growing up to think that men can do them any kind of way. Remember you are somebody who deserves better. You are in my prayers, I hope you make the right choice for you and your children. Please be safe, take what he is teling you seriously.

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