bubble0@... asked this question on 4/3/2000:

I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?, I have a boyfriend of 3yrs.We have 4 girls(2 were from a previous marriage)2 years ago he would start to have angry eppisodes,pick an argument with me and take away my car keys(fearing that i would leave)These eppisodes happen every couple of months.However they are progressivly getting worse.Our last argument started because he couldn't find his hat and our house was a mess(our oldest child is 4yrs old and our youngest is 5 mnths old).I have a very difficult time keeping the house clean between him and the girls.anyway to make a long story short he trashed the entire house.He broke some vcr tapes,a granite tabletop(with everything still on it,including our dinner)Even the inside of the refridgerator suffered damage.I was left to clean up a huge mess.he also threatened to hit me.Last night he again threatened to hit me after we had a disagrement.He left and later came back,and i asked him if he would ever actaully hit me.He said that he would(he didn't even have to think about the question before he answered it)After giving this brief dialog of my situation do I have anything to fear of him or am I worried over nothing?

Help4U1 gave this response on 4/4/2000:

I am sorry that you are in this situation but I think that you answered your own question within your letter. Yes, you have everything to fear from this man. He is abusive and he has told you in no uncertain terms what he will do.

I do not know of your financial situation but since there are children involved please seek help at a shelter where all of you will be safe. Your fear and self-esteem will continue to suffer not to mention the influence this will have on the children. None of you deserve to be subjected to this type of treatment. If he has no hesitation in hitting you what will happen if the children make him angry? This mans frustrations and abuse are out of control and his behavior reflects just how unstable and unpredictable he has become.

You can have him arrested for domestic violence but as unstable as he sounds I would fear for the reprecussions if you stayed.

My only suggestion at this point is to contact a women's shelter for help. They are source of great help for women who are in your situation. Please consider this not only for yourself but for your children also.

Please let us know how you are.

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