capntom asked this question on 4/3/2000:

Evening Xperts,I was just wondering, it appears to me that there seems to be a large segment of the people who ask us questions are women with abusive boyfriends or husbands. My question is why do women insist in staying in abusive enviroments. My job during the day is working in a Salvation Army Shelter as the director of security with A daily flow of 1100 clients, it boggles my mind when i watch these women get tormented by their mates, Yet they stay and take it

drpiano gave this response on 4/4/2000:

The answer is quite simple, and has been known to therapists almost forever. These women have low self-esteem; they do not think they deserve better, mainly, because they are tied to a victim chain. They saw their mothers abused, they experienced abuse themselves as a child. Thinking they have little inherent worth, they naturally gravitate to scumbags. The best method of breaking this is through Self Motivational Empowerment (SME). Once the victim can accept themselves as unique, wonderful beings, they can begin to take the first step toward picking decent men. Part of the process of picking decent men, instead of the dreck these women have been hanging around with, is to pick women who are upbeat for friends. Pick successful women as role models. Watch how they interact with their environment. In this life, you are what you think you are. When you think you are, that is what you become.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

capntom rated this answer a 5.