capntom asked this question on 4/3/2000:

Evening Xperts,I was just wondering, it appears to me that there seems to be a large segment of the people who ask us questions are women with abusive boyfriends or husbands. My question is why do women insist in staying in abusive enviroments. My job during the day is working in a Salvation Army Shelter as the director of security with A daily flow of 1100 clients, it boggles my mind when i watch these women get tormented by their mates, Yet they stay and take it

Help4U1 gave this response on 4/3/2000:

Good evening to you also...that is a question that involves alot of issues.

Some reasons are financial where the woman may not be skilled enough to get a job that would support her and if she has kids well enough to survive. A bigger reason I think is the emotional toll it takes on a woman. If they are being verbally abused they are in a sense being pounded into the ground where they begin to believe what they are being told. This is devestating to their self-esteem and whole being.

There is also a fear of retaliation if they attempt to leave. Some of these women know of no other life than abuse. I survived a situation like this and was fortunate enough to have a place to go and it did help that I din't have kids at the time.

Some women truly love these men as they don't always show their bad side so they stay thinking that maybe it's just a one time thing and this thinking continues maybe because they believe they can change them. Women have traditionally been labeled "healers, try to fix what's wrong" so they will stay.

Being through it myself it hurts when I see women in these situations but all you can do is listen, comfort and give them all the information and helps that is available to help them.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

capntom rated this answer a 5.