bcrick asked this question on 4/2/2000:

Being involved in police work as you were, what are your views on combatting or heading off violence at the family level? I'm asking this because of a general perception of violence stemming from mostly impoverished childhoods both socially and economic. What can you foresee as hope in violence prevention?

d_ottr gave this response on 4/3/2000:

That is a very intelligent, well thought-out question, and a pretty complex one too, I might add!

(By the way, I'm STILL in police work, so....)

The very first crime, a homicide, was an act of family, or domestic, violence. And civilization has never been the same since. Over generations, domestic violence has been tolerated, regulated (ever hear of the Rule of Thumb? another question worth asking), and outlawed in our society. In my opinion, domestic violence plays a very strong part in the attitudes of today's adolescents. If kid sees mom getting the holy bejeezus pounded out of her on a daily basis, he begins to accept that as the norm. Thus starts the perpetual cycle of abuse, and also sanctioned violence. Dad thinks it's okay, even "manly," for Junior to whoop up on the neighbor kids. Junior, in turn, grows up with that propensity for violent acts, and usually plays them out. Rare, though, is a child who sees this taking place in the home, and instead decides that is not acceptable behavior, and breaks the cycle- one for the good guys! And this behavior does in fact transcend socio-economic barriers too. Nearly as many affluent families are wracked with domestic violence as impoverished families. Check the statistics at your local women's shelter, if they keep demographics on economic status of their clients.

Probably the most common denominator in domestic violence, in my experience, is alcohol and drug abuse. If I try real, REAL hard, I MIGHT be able to think of maybe ONE singular domestic that I or any of my counterparts have responded to where neither of the combatants were intoxicated or high on dope.

Granted, the most visible domestics are those on COPS, where the boys respond to the barrios, low income housing, or ghettos to family brawls. I assure you that this is a rather slanted perception. Society tends to protect the affluent; it is an unwritten axiom that we as a civilization depend upon the rich and famous, the intellectuals, the paragons of our culture, as if aliens would judge us by the very actions of the wealthy and spare our existence because of the influence of this small segment of our population. I mean, with the way our current Commander in Chief has acted, catting about with all his mistresses, you don't think for a second maybe old Billy has been popped in the puss by Hillary, or some dishes thrown at his graying scalp? Therein lies one facet of the hope we need to stem the tide of domestic violence... it needs to become socially unacceptable, as much as violence against each other needs to become equally unacceptable.

We need to enlist Hollywood to take the glamour out of body counts. Our movies should be uplifting, rather than frightening. We should leave our theaters with that Jerry Maguire feel-good inside, rather than the look-over-your-shoulder feeling after something like Halloween. Even though we all know it's fiction, the message is there that blood is spilt for entertainment, not atonement. Our schools need to be places where our kids go to learn, not settle scores. THAT must be handed down from parents and teachers to our children. Society needs to realize that to tolerate crime is to in effect sanction it. How many times have you heard the old "I don't want to get involved," or "As long as it doesn't happen to me" crap. Be advised, if you turn your head to it, one day you WILL be a victim! Step up to the plate. Go to PTA, Crime (or Neighborhood) Watch meetings. Get involved with Crime Prevention programming in the community. Take back the community, take back the homes, reduce violence. The answer is NOT in gun control- it is in emotional control, crime control, and anger management. And it all starts at home......

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