Anonymous asked this question on 4/2/2000:
My husband is all the time threatening to divorce me and take my kids because he says I'm lazy. I work 40 hours a week, and have 2 children under the age of 3. As soon as I pick them up from daycare and get home, I get the kids settled in and start supper. A lot of times I start the laundry too during this time. It's usually 6:30-7:00 before we eat. Then I have to do the dishes and finish the laundry, bathe the kids and get them to bed. I don't get to sit down until 9:30-10:00. All the while he's been laying on the couch watching TV, except the time he took to eat supper. Now he's "unwound" and wants me to start cleaning house - picking up the toys, cleaning kid's rooms, vaccuum, dust, mop etc. Everyday this is my routine. I never get a break. He says that he mows the yard and keeps the oil changed in the vehicles, that's his contribution to maintainence of the household. He never takes the kids with him when he goes anywhere, but if I want to do something, I have to take them with me. He won't watch them while I go out for anything. What can I do to stop this onslaught of abuse everynight? There is also lots of name calling during these episodes.
johnrecover gave this response on 4/2/2000:
A separation sounds good to me. First of all if he does divorce you they will not give him the kids just because he says you are lazy, in fact, based on what you posted her, he won't get the kids at all except for a weekend or two. If you are unhappy and feel this won't change (which it doesn't look like is soon), I would file the necessary papers to get a separation and let him fend for himself for awhile and maybe then he will appreciate what it is you do for him. I think you are doing way too much if what you said is true and that he needs to take responsibility for his own actions and stop attacking you. Counseling would help, but he probably won't be able to get off the couch to go. Good luck, if you need something else, please ask. John
The average rating for this answer is 5.