Anonymous asked this question on 3/28/2000:

Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting along so-so it angers him that when he calls I am either not home or to far to hear the phone, he talls me that I better be here at a certain time because he hates waiting, and this is so weird because he is so sweet, but his emotional outbursts are a problem.

longdistance gave this response on 4/1/2000:

Honey, they are ALL sweet in the beginning - that's how they get you involved!

What worries me is that this guy is showing symptoms of becoming a very controlling and abusive man. When someone demands certain behaviors from you, they are controlling you. Some types of control are good, others not. For example, Parents demand certain behaviors from their children. In this instance, they are teaching you how to behave.

This guy is "teaching you how to behave", too. But no matter what you do, trust me -- it will never be good enough. He's trying to control you in a negative way.

This will escalate from demanding you be at a certain place at a certain time to isolating you from friends and family, and eventual physical and emotional abuse. In so many cases, it's really quite predictable!

Tell this guy that you love to hear from him but that you have a life, too, and may not be able to be there when he tries to reach you. A reasonable person will understand. If he becomes angry or tries to make you comply by making you feel guilty --- GET AWAY FROM HIM!

This guy is no good for you, and he will continue to try to control you as long as you allow it. You are the safest away from him.

Good luck, honey!