Labugana asked this question on 3/21/2000:

In the last few years I have noticed that men have become abusive towards women. It is not only in one race but in all. What is the explanation of this behavior?

gwatts7 gave this response on 3/31/2000:

Abusive partners have been around since the beginning of time. I survived not one, but two, abusive marriages. The key word I think you're looking for is control. Men feel they need control over their partners and seem to gain it from physically, emotionally and verbally attacking their female counterpart. The abuse continues when the woman allows it to happen. As the man feels more powerful, the rage grows also. The woman loses self-esteem, she loses the will to fight back. It's a sort of "customizing" she goes through because she is too weak to fight back and too emotionally drained to try to protect herself. She fears for her life as well as her childrens'. It takes a lot of time for her to realize she can leave because she is so afraid of him "coming after" her. My first husband, the father of my two children, held a shotgun to my head when I was 8 months pregnant and pulled the trigger. By the hand of God, i am here today. The barrel locked up. That was my wake-up call. Men who have this sort of problem need to seek professional help. It will stay with the woman forever. I know. I was there. It's not just a newly found thing. It's been here forever and will stay until men realize that women are not possessions and deserve a fair shake in all aspects of relationships. We're not battering rams. In 9 of 10 abusive relationships, the woman allows it to happen to her because of fear. Denial about the abuse will only make her weaker and less apt to escape the violence.

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