Anonymous asked this question on 3/28/2000:
Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting along so-so it angers him that when he calls I am either not home or to far to hear the phone, he talls me that I better be here at a certain time because he hates waiting, and this is so weird because he is so sweet, but his emotional outbursts are a problem.
courtneysmom gave this response on 3/28/2000:
Sorry you are struggling with this situation. What you describe are definite "red flags"--which means your antenna's should be going up (something to be concerned about). Domestic violence is all about power and control and the one doing the abusing is the one with the power. (him) If he is displaying emotional outbursts, he has a problem with anger. Since you are not married (thank God) and are merely "dating" you have the decision to make if you want to keep dating him. Ask yourself is it logical? Dating is the time in your life when you are supposedly using this time to select a mate in life. If he is already being possessive of you now, what would it be if you ever marry him? I don't want to cause you further pain, however, I must tell you that most abusers are sweet, and even warm sometimes. They are not 100% bad all the time. This is sometimes referred to as a "honeymoon" phase. In other words, there is a period of time when things seem to be going beautifully, but then, suddenly and often without warning, along comes an outburst of anger, rage, jealousy, etc. I would hope that you take a long look at your relationship and make a decision that is in your best interests. Just know that life is not a dress rehearsal, this is the real thing, "live" and we don't get another shot. Who we choose to spend our time and life with is extremely important. If you had a daughter, hopefully you'd have a close and loving relationship. What if she came to you with this question? Would you advise her to keep seeing this guy? Think long and hard about it. I really hope you find your soulmate who will bring wonderful things to your life. Sorry but I don't think this is that guy. To be loved is to be treated kindly and with respect. There is neither in your description. Don't settle for anything less.
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