Anonymous asked this question on 3/28/2000:
Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting along so-so it angers him that when he calls I am either not home or to far to hear the phone, he talls me that I better be here at a certain time because he hates waiting, and this is so weird because he is so sweet, but his emotional outbursts are a problem.
Brandie gave this response on 3/28/2000:
Your boyfriend is showing some signs of control, which boarders on emotional abuse. You or nobody else can always sit by the phone waiting for someone to call. That isn't practical. You and the rest of us for that matter have things to do, it's called a life. We should never be asked to put our lives on hold because someone wants to chit chat. I have been married for 17 years and I love my husband dearly, but I don't sit by the phone every day waiting for him to call. It is not healthy for your boyfriend to expect this from you. Let me ask you this, if he has this expectation while you are dating what is he going to expect of you when and if you marry him? Usually mates with control issues get worse when they get married. It starts out with I want you to be there when I call and leads to other things. I have seen other women who have men similar to yours, they wanted their girlfriend to be by the phone when they called. Then gradually it was other things like trying to control who you can talk to, how long you have to go to the store till eventually their man was controling every aspect of their lives. Some of these women were even beat when they didn't do as they were told. If you love your boyfriend and love yourself, then I suggest that you both seek some sort of counseling. If he isn't willing then maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship. You can't change him, only he has the power to do that. You can however change what you allow other people to do to you. I want you to remember this, you are as valuable as anyone else, and that love is just that LOVE, it doesn't control or have to hurt. I hope everything works out for you, good luck!!
The average rating for this answer is 5.
Anonymous rated this answer a 5.