Anonymous asked this question on 3/28/2000:

Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting along so-so it angers him that when he calls I am either not home or to far to hear the phone, he talls me that I better be here at a certain time because he hates waiting, and this is so weird because he is so sweet, but his emotional outbursts are a problem.

lakers gave this response on 3/28/2000:

The behavior you are describing is controlling behavior. Your boyfriend is already showing that he wants you to do what he wants, be where he can find you etc.

In the many domestic violence cases I prosecuted, the type of behavior you describe was related to me by many victims. They told me it was only the beginning and then things got worse. Their abusers would begin to object to their friends, the way they dressed, even took away their ATM cards and the telephone when they'd leave the house, among many examples. Of course, it eventually escalated into violence.

If you want to stay with your boyfriend, understand there is a "cycle of violence." He will probably have an outburst, then later be remorseful and treat you very well. Then another outburst will occur. It is a common pattern and only counseling will help break it. Try talking to him about what is occurring, and see if he is open to understanding that what he is doing concerns you. If he is not receptive, you have some choices to make. Remember, you can't change other people and you are not responsible for fixing him.

Best of luck.

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