Anonymous asked this question on 3/25/2000:

My bf and I have been together for about 13 months now. We both told each other that we love each other very much. We both enjoy being with each other. But the problem is that he usually get mad at me for no reasons. And when he gets mad he usually hurt my feelings. He would say rude things to me, my family, my race, etc. and it really hurts me. I tell him, so then a few mintues later he would say that he is just joking or he would say that I started it. He also say that he hates me but then he says he loves me. I tell him that he is emotionally abusing me, but he thinks Im joking. He sometimes physically hurt me too. I am Im being a fool to say with him, but I really love him. We have been on and off many times in our relationship, but for some reason we usually end up getting back together. Like that song from 702 "...I dont really don't want to go, but i really dont want to stay..." What should I do?

Cntrygrl gave this response on 3/27/2000:

I know you will not want to hear this, but you need to get out of that relationship permanently....your boyfriend is abusing you emotionally, and physically, which will only escalate into something much more harmful!! I know, I've been there, but I'm lucky to be alive today!! He doesn't see anything wrong with what he says or does to you because HE doesn't feel HE has a problem...well, HE DOES!! Understand this, when a man abuses a woman, whether it be emotionally or physically, it is his way of having POWER and CONTROL over her!! He can't love you and hate you!! He is giving you mixed messages, and that is NOT good!! You need to break away from him NOW in order that you may start healing yourself from his abuse! You also need to be strong for YOURSELF, NOT HIM, in order that you DO NOT go back with him! He is continuing the abuse because, and I hate to say it, YOU and HE keep getting back together, so you're telling him, even non-verbally, that the way he is treating you is OK with you! DON'T do that anymore....GET OUT AND STAY OUT!! I hope this helps a bit, and please let me know if I can be of further help to you! I DO wish you the best of luck in this situation. Just please keep in mind, that if you do continue to stay with this man, that the abuse WILL get worse!!

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.

Thanks ... You are right .. it is hard to admit, but I know the best and only way for me. Thanks again