Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

kerry35 gave this response on 3/26/2000:

There are all kinds of things that you can try.You probably already have, and it probably seems like no matter what you do its not good enough.Unfortunately there are certain different steps that this kindof relationship will go through before you finally realize you dont know who you are anymore.You are probably the caretaker type and find yourself always catering to his needs and putting your needs aside.when will you ever come first again. I'm very sorry to tell you ,that once a person gets through to another person in the form of abuse its a very hard road to get back the respect that you had in the beginning. I'm afraid that even if you try to get the communication back, he will never fully respect you in the way that you deserve or expect from tour lover.The only advice I can give is that if you have a family (children) you may want to seek couple counciling (for live in lovers)or family counciling if you are married.If you feel the need to stay together for the children,sometimes the children are better off in seperate relationships with there parents then to watch them fight and degrade each other/or one dgrade the other. Otherwise if you just started a relationship with this guy and dont have too much invested you may want to consider parting ways and chaulk it up to experience.Emotional abuse does have a way of growing into physical abuse.I hope this advice can help,good luck.

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