Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

Help4U1 gave this response on 3/24/2000:

I am truly sorry for your situation as it is a most difficult one. I was in a physically as well as verbally abusive relationship and I truly believe the verbal abuse can be worse than the physical because verbally abusive men do this to demean and their pupose is to control through this type of behavior. Unless he is willing to change there really is no way of communicating with him as this is not what he wants.

There are many organizations out there to help women recover from abusive relationships and I use the word recover strongly because I personally found that they inflict such emotional damage over a long period of time that it often takes time to heal and get your sense of self-woth and self-esteem back.

I hope that you will seek counseling for yourself to help you realize that you do not deserve this type of treatment. As adults, we alone are responsible for our own decisions and behavior and he has chosen his. While you might care for this man his behavior is deep rooted and he alone has to decide whether he wants to change. Unless firm boundaries are set this pattern will continue. Since you have tried everything to help him now is the time for you to get help and heal.

I wish you the very best and please let me know how you are doing.

Help4U1

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Anonymous rated this answer a 4.