Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

HBIC gave this response on 3/22/2000:

YOU CAN NOT STOP HIM!!!!!!!!!! ONLY HE CAN AND HE WILL ONLY STOP IF HE WANTS TO. FIRST OF ALL, WITH NO INTENTION TO OFFEND, HE CAN ONLY ABUSE YOU IF YOU LET HIM. LEAVE, I KNOW, EASIER SAID THAN DONE, RIGHT? WRONG, EASIER DONE THAN LIVING WITH IT. NOT ONLY HAVE I STUDIED THE PSYCHOLOGY OF VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, BUT I REFUSED TO ALLOW MY SONS FATHER TO DO IT TO ME ALONG TIME AGO. IM GONNA YELL, GET OUT, QUIT TRYING TO FIX IT, GET A BRAIN!!!! IF HE WANTS TO STOP, HELL GET HELP FOR HIMSELF, NOT YOU. BUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO GET OUT, AND COME BACK ONLY IF HE CHANGES. ONLY AFTER HE CHANGED. DONT BE STUPID, AND DONT DO IT TO YOURSELF, THEY DO THIS BECAUSE WE LET THEM. I CANT SAY IT ENOUGH GET OUT!!!!!!! A PERSONS PERSONALITY IS LOCKED IN BY THE TIME THEY ARE 6 YEARS OLD. YOU CANNOT CHANGE A PERSONALITY, ONLY THE BEHAVIOR. IF HE ISNT GONNA DO IT, THEN HE DOESNT GIVE TWO LEAPS FOR YOU. THE FIRST TIME HE SPOKE AN UNKIND WORD TO YOU OR PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE DIDNT CARE ABOUT YOU. IM SORRY IF THIS HURTS, BUT THE TRUTH USUALLY DOES. YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOU, AND LET HIM WORRY ABOUT HIM. YOU CANT CHANGE HIM AND YOUR LOVE WONT BE ENOUGH AND HE WONT DO IT FOR YOU. IF HE IS GOING TO SEEK THERAPY FOR HIS ANGER MANAGEMENT, HE IS GOING TO DO IT FOR HIM, ON HIS OWN ACCORD, AND BECAUSE HE WANTS TO, NO OTHER REASON. IT IS THEN AND ONLY THEN THAT THE THERAPY WILL WORK. NOT UNTILL THEN AND NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON!!!! MY FINAL WORD..... WAKE UP!!!!!!

The average rating for this answer is 4.

Anonymous rated this answer a 4.