Labugana asked this question on 3/21/2000:
In the last few years I have noticed that men have become abusive towards women. It is not only in one race but in all. What is the explanation of this behavior?
rainbowlady gave this response on 3/22/2000:
I don't know if it's so much that the abuse is escalating as it is that it's being reported more and more and taken more seriously by law enforcement and those in related fields. Relying on statistics can be something that can lead to a lot of problems because statistics can be manipulated to make them look like they're saying something they're not. For example, the attempted suicide rate among gay teens and their involvement in drugs and promiscuity is higher than for heterosexual teens. Now there are those who would use that "statistic" to say that being gay is NOT a healthy alternative to being straight. Yet what is forgotten or overlooked is that the REASON gay teens turn to drugs/promiscuity and attempt to kill themselves is because they're told that being gay is wrong. This statistic emphasizes the need for greater support to gay teens because of their increased risk, but it says nothing about whether it is a healthy "alternative lifestyle".
However, I think there are some other possible causes for the apparent increase in abuse.
First, is a change in policy. For many years, domestic violence calls were ignored-- it was considered a matter between the husband and the wife and the police weren't to get involved. So there were no "DV" calls on police logs. Now of course, that's different. DV calls are responded to and so of course there's going to be a big jump in the number of DV calls on police logs. That doesn't mean, however, that the number of cases themselves have changed-- just the number that police respond to. (Which is again another example of how statistics can be manipulated.)
Second, more women are reporting abuse. Again, this doesn't mean that the actual number of cases has changed, just that more women are reporting it. The stigma of being a battered wife is lessening and more women are realizing that they don't need to stay in abusive relationships. That there are services out there to help them leave abusive relationships. A rise in the number of people using shelters doesn't mean that there's been a rise in the number of abuse cases, just in the number of women are are not tolerating it anymore.
Third, as women gain more and more equality in the work place and take away more and more of the "power" from men (not to overpower, but to have their equal share), men are finding that they're not as secure in their positions of control as they once were. When men made all the decisions and had all the control, they had a feeling of safety. That is changing now as the role of women and men changes. When one starts to lose control, one can become frightened. When one becomes frightened enough, a "flight or fight" instinct kicks in and sometimes the one who is frightened lashes out. In a relationship, this is often the man lashing out at the woman.
Fourth, the media, through advertising, is still showing women as "objects to be possessed". As long as women are objectified, men will feel they have a right to use them as htey want, which can mean as a punching bag for their anger.
Fifth, the recent impact by such groups as "Promise Keepers" and the "Christian Coalition" that affirm the male as the head of the household and women's role as submitting to man. Again, it places men in a position of power. I realize that those pushing these ideas say that a man, to be a true Christian, would take his wife's feelings, etc. into account and never do anything to hurt her, etc. But that's just not the way the real world works. Many men use the Bible and other such texts from other such religious groups as justification for their abusive behavior.
These are just a few of the reasons that it could appear that men are becoming more violent to women. But appearances can be deceiving...both ways.
Love and Light, Rainbowlady
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