Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

rainbowlady gave this response on 3/20/2000:

The problem is not with you, dear, it is with him. HE needs to get some help. He needs to learn that the scars left from emotional abuse are just as, if not more, damaging than the scars of physical abuse. He needs to find ways to express his anger that do not cause others or himself harm. And until he is willing to do that, nothing you can do will make the relationship any less abusive. You may be able to slow it down for a while, but abuse is about control and his need is to control you. He needs to find out why he has that need and that it is unacceptable to do to another human being. The best thing you can do is to leave. While that may sound contradictory, it may also allow him to "hit rock bottom" so to speak. It will also show him that you are in control of your own future and that you do not feel you deserve to be controled and abused by him in any manner and that you're not going to put up with it. Once he sees this, he may decide that he wants you in his life enough to seek help with his abusiveness.

Love and Light, Rainbowlady

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Anonymous rated this answer a 4.