Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

Brandie gave this response on 3/18/2000:

Dear Anonymous, I am glad for you that the physical abuse has stopped. How did the physical abuse stop? Did your mate seek counseling, or just stop on his own? In either case it was a situation where your mate decided he was ready to stop abusing you physically. It was not your decesion for him to stop because you never would have chose to be physically abused in the first place, right? The same holds true for emotional abuse. Your mate has to want to stop the emotional abuse,the same way he stopped the physical abuse. Remember abuse in whatever form is not healthy. Emoional abuse sometimes is worse than physical abuse in that a broken arm will heal in a couple of weeks, where as a broken spirit takes much longer. You must do what is healthy for you, if your mate won't seek professional help than maybe you should seek it for yourself. There comes a time in our lives when we have to think about what is best for us. Having healthy emotions is very important to not just our minds, but the rest of our body as well. I want you to keep this fact in mind, your mate may not be hurtng you physically anymore, but you are still being abused. You can not change your mate's behavior, only your mate can do that. If you want to keep your relationship with your mate, I would suggest that both of you enter into some kind of counseling - with a trained professional whether it's a physcologist or a minister. I want you to know that you are entitled to live in a healthy place. Please don't enable this person to break your spirit. You don't have the power to make your mate stop abusing you, but you do have the power to say if you don't change I will not live like this. I know these are tough words, but there is more to life than being abused. If I can help in any way -( I will listen to you, give advice or whatever) get in contact with me and I will help you as best I can. Keep your head up, you made it through the physical abuse I know you can make it through this.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.

the abuse stopped when my mother found out .he didn't hit me as much.