Anonymous asked this question on 3/18/2000:

i used to be physically abused now its emotional abuse .i want to kno how i can stop the emotional abuse and have a better relationship with him again.please help.how can i communicate more with him?

courtneysmom gave this response on 3/18/2000:

The only thing you have within your power to change is yourself. Unless this man is motivated to change and seek professional help, you are going to keep going around and around in the cycle of abuse. There are periods of time when probably he treats you well, even warm. This is referred to often as the "honeymoon phase". However, there is no excuse for domestic violence, physical or otherwise. No excuse. No one deserves to be treated that way and it may take a long time for the victim to figure that out, but once you do, it's crystal clear and staring you boldface in the eyes. (Like a lightbulb moment, as Oprah says) Life is so precious and time is so short. Please don't continue to seek ways to communicate with a man who doesn't value and respect you. What's the point? The bottom line is that it just doesn't make good sense. I know love is blind and all that stuff but you know him a lot better than anyone. You are an expert at knowing him. Do you think he can honestly change? Talk to him about it, is he willing? If he doesn't think you're worth it, you have your "final answer!" Good luck and please get the professional help you may need to help make you stronger during and through all this. You deserve a life free of threatening behavior of any kind, so see to it that you get it, OK!!!! Best of Luck and if you need further support, just "askme!" I do care! courtneysmom

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