Anonymous asked this question on 3/6/2000:

Hi,

I want an opinion from the experts in this category. If someone chooses to spank their child for discipline, do you think they should have their child taken away from them by social services? I have a friend who disciplines her child with spanking. Her child went to school one day and told a teacher that she gets spanked. The next day social services were at her door, they had her under investigation for months. They told her if she spanks and/or yells at her child it is abuse and they will come back and take this child from her. That child loves her mother and she is a good mom. She provides for her and nutures her fully. They are very close and this would distroy this child.

Do you think this is right?

Cntrygrl gave this response on 3/6/2000:

In answer to your question, no I don't think this is a form of abuse, UNLESS the mother is literally taking out aggresion or frustration on this child, then that would be cause for alarm; but if it is just for discipline, and does not happen very often, then I believe in my heart that it is NOT child abuse. I don't feel that the child's school should have had social services at the house until they could talk with the mother to get an idea of what was going on. As long as the child is not showing any signs of abuse (imitating with dolls, change of attitute, bruises on her body, broken bones, etc.), then I feel that social services should never have been called!! I hope this helps a bit, and if I can be of further help, just let me know!

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 3/6/2000:

Apparently what happened is she told her teacher that her friend needed a spanking. The teacher then questioned her. I know that she hardly ever gets spanked. Although I myself have seen her give her doll a spanking. But she gave her doll a spanking on the bum and only one slap, she then told her doll to never do that again. She's in kindergarten and a very well behaved child. I think this got blown way out of proportion.

Cntrygrl gave this response on 3/7/2000:

First, I still feel that the teacher should have contacted the mother and spoken to her first before any type of action was taken!! The child giving her doll a spanking is OK, as long as you, or anyone, does not see her doing this consistently. If she does this consistently, that may be signs of the child being abused (I'm not saying that's what's happening, this is just a sign). I would suggest to you to keep an eye on the child to see how she plays with her doll(s), and if there is any indication of continual spanking, etc., then I would definitely talk to the mother and try and find out whatever you can about how the mother disciplines her daughter! Other than that, I tend to agree with you that this probably was blown out of proportion! Hope this helps a bit more. Again, let me know if I can be of further help to you! Good luck!!

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.