Anonymous asked this question on 3/6/2000:

Hi,

I want an opinion from the experts in this category. If someone chooses to spank their child for discipline, do you think they should have their child taken away from them by social services? I have a friend who disciplines her child with spanking. Her child went to school one day and told a teacher that she gets spanked. The next day social services were at her door, they had her under investigation for months. They told her if she spanks and/or yells at her child it is abuse and they will come back and take this child from her. That child loves her mother and she is a good mom. She provides for her and nutures her fully. They are very close and this would distroy this child.

Do you think this is right?

trii gave this response on 3/6/2000:

Spanking a child with an open hand on the bottom is not considered child abuse and social services should not have been called. A teacher is bound by law to report any suspisions of abuse, but spankings are hardly that. The teacher should have talked with the parent first and asked the child for more information. Slapping a child in the face or using an object for a spanking, like a paddle or belt, is considered to be abusive and will get an investigation going.

Anonymous asked this follow-up question on 3/6/2000:

Yes, I too believe that the teacher should have talked to her mother first. Her child is very well behaved and hardly ever gets spanked. It's the yelling thing that I have a problem with, I personally yell at my kids, I can't help it. lol Sometimes I think they can't here me so I have to talk louder. lol I guess she was talking to the teacher and told her that one of her friends needed a spanking. So then the teacher started to question her. I think this got blown way out of proportion.

trii gave this response on 3/6/2000:

Yelling at kids is natural but it can be bad too. It depends on how you yell at your kids. If you call them names or tell them things that make them feel worthless, then it's abusive. If you yell just to get their attention and be heard, that's different. We all yell at our kids from time to time. I got yelled at and spanked, and I turned out just fine.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.

I too got yelled at and spanked and am fine. I yell at my kids only to get their attention, I would never insult my children. They'll have enough things in this world that will mess with their self esteem. Thank you for your opinion on this. I told my friend that she should get a lawyer if social services pursues this any further.